We wish every that every NotMom enjoys Mother’s Day as a chance to show love and gratitude to her own mother, if that’s how she truly feels. Or, perhaps it’s just another Sunday, offering self-directed options for fun or chores or work brought home from the office. But, every NotMom reacts to Mother’s Day differently. Most childfree by choice women could care less about a day for Mothers. Conversely, many by-chance NotMoms are lost in “What if” or “Why not me?”
This week’s poll asks, What’s your Mother’s Day barometer look like? In the few days since it was posted, just over 50 readers have responded so far, but it may be telling that the most popular answer has steadily been, “Needle on Red: I am despondent.”
Of course, Mother’s Day can also spark renewed grief for women with and without kids whose own mothers have died. My guess is that these poll respondents were thinking of their own reproductive history.
For those women, grieving the child that never was, there are no easy remedies. What to do? Stay home, away from people? Hang with other NotMoms? The pain is inside their own hearts and heads; it wants to go where they go.
For them, I offer only this: If ‘fake it till you make it’ — smiling until you really feel like doing it — doesn’t work, perhaps a good idea would be to focus on you. As in, finding and polishing your passions, your inherent talents, the gifts that only you were given.
Is it a dream job or business or nonprofit? Something creative? The options are vast. We were all put here for a reason, and for us, it’s a mission that doesn’t include children. What is it? You’re the only one who knows.