Analytics tell me that many readers of this site are also connected with Jody Day, who is building a community of NotMoms online and off called Gateway Women. Most of those women, I think, are childless by circumstance, or happenstance, but not by their own choice.
Jody is also the author of a new book, Rocking the Life Unexpected, that details her own journey of trying to conceive for 15 years and the grieving that followed. With psychological expertise, she shares exercises and thought-starters that may help women like her reach the other side of sadness. (If you’re in an inward-looking frame of mind this New Year, do check it out.)
In her UK homeland, Jody’s byline is frequent in the press on issues related to being a NotMom by chance. She and I have enjoyed several brief chats via email and hope to Skype each other soon. Needless to say, when Google presented me with a link to listen to a December 2013 radio interview with Jody, I happily opened it. My big mistake was to glance at the comments before I heard a single word Jody said.
On the day I clicked through, the interview had generated 15 comments. I’m guessing some folks may have been already fired up about Jody’s earlier newspaper column. First up was a charge that ultimately, Jody chose to be without a child because she didn’t adopt. Commenters veered from adoption to pros and cons related to, ‘there’s always IVF’. An adoptive mom shared outrage that Jody considers adopted kids to be “a booby prize”. Someone else charged that Jody never said that at all.
My question to you: Does any of that feel familiar…and not in a good way?
Bottom line for me is that there aren’t a heck of a lot of not-by-chance NotMoms speaking up out there. It’s too hard. Good for Jody.
Listen to the 14-minute interview yourself. Let us know what you think.