I’m KarenMW, passionate about the Internet and social media and on the road to being totally invisible.
In America, older women often complain that no one “sees” them. Even store clerks look past them, or through them, in search of some other, more interesting, more vibrant, more young person to talk to. Older men say they experience this at a significantly lower rate.
That’s why, when I realized that although I spend a considerable amount of time online, I feel that I can’t “find myself” in cyberspace, I needed to do something. If I have to be invisible after I’m 65, well, I’ll fight that, too. But, I’ll be damned if I have to be invisible in my 50s.
I spend at least half of my waking hours every single day cruising the Internet, but I haven’t been able to find a feminine digital space where a woman over 50 who’s never had a child is acknowledged, not merely subsumed. I found plenty of sites connecting women who are fiercely childless-by-choice or who’ve suffered infertility or a miscarriage, regret an abortion or lost a child to disease or violence.
I don’t fit any of those categories. It’s not that ”I forgot to have children”, but… After obsessive efforts to get pregnant in my early 30s during my first marriage, ambivalence about the whole thing caught me off guard when I remarried at 38. By the time I realized how much time had passed by, well, time had passed by.
I’ve been sad about it, resigned to it, and finally, thankful for it in the way spiritual folk know well. I’m resistant to the uterine-labeling America loves so much. I’m not a Mom. Not an Empty Nester, not gonna be a Grandmother.
What I am is a NotMom, proud and free. I’m calling out to my peeps: We are the most mighty force on the Internet: An undiscovered niche. In future posts, I’ll reveal that NotMoms are plump with discretionary income and all kinds of diversity. Our lives are fascinating, yet basically uncharted by both Internet explorers and narrow-thinking advertisers. That’s gonna change.