As a By Chance NotMom, there was once a time when a foray to the grocery store on the Saturday before Mother’s Day would send me home in tears. “Happy Mother’s Day!”, from the guy in Produce. “You be sure to have a happy Mother’s Day!”, from the meat guy. A free carnation at checkout.
That was years ago. With age, time and a good chunk of acceptance, I can say that I’ve come a long way. I can take a “Happy Mother’s Day!” with the same smiling response I’d give to “Have a good weekend.”
For women who wanted children but never had them, age forces some level of acceptance upon them. Grief and regret transition to “it is what it is.” Seriously, it’s worrisome if you’re 64 and still crying at the sight of a very pregnant woman.
I’m “better,” but I’m also smarter, which basically means that I’ve learned not to push it. If I can load the frig up before Mother’s Day Saturday, I do. Every grocery store in my area, unlike other local businesses, such as the dry cleaners, gas station, etc. is at fever pitch with Mother’s Day frenzy. I think it’s second only to Christmas for them.
I’m blessed that I still have a Mom to honor on the actual holiday, my mother-in-law who I love very much. I’ve realized that it’s not the day itself that I had trouble with; it was facing assumptions about my “well, of course she is” motherhood that was the issue.