This post is by TheNotMom team writer Laura LaVoie:
It is interesting being within spitting distance of 40, being a woman, and not having kids. Many of my friends took a different route; the one a little more expected by society. Girls that I had grown up with began to start their families in their 30s, and suddenly our relationships changed. They weren’t “bad”; they were just “different.” The things we used to do as single, childless women were no longer possible as they chose to spend time with their kids and husbands rather than with me.
As a childfree couple, Matt and I quickly learned that we needed a new type of friend. Friends like us; people around our age who also made the decision to skip parenthood. Now that we’ve moved again, from Atlanta, Georgia to Asheville, North Carolina, we find ourselves in a position to meet new people again.
So, where can you meet people who are also not parents? There are childfree gatherings that occur in many cities. You may wish to start by checking out childfree.meetup.com. Adults without kids by choice or by chance can also look for a local chapter of No Kidding!
Other places may include:
- Your favorite neighborhood bar
- A local place of worship
- Join a book group
- Online communities
- Friends of friends
These look familiar, don’t they? These are all the ways anyone makes any new friends whether they are looking for childfree couple friends or otherwise. They key to making new friends who happen to also be in the same life situation is to be open enough to engage with people whenever you’re out.
Here in Asheville, also known as Beer City USA, one of my favorite hobbies is checking out the local bar scene. It is really fun to hang out at the bar and talk to locals and tourists who sit next to you. You never know where that new connection might come from.
You won’t know if someone doesn’t have kids by just looking at them. The only way to find out more is to have a conversation. Just like early dating advice, before texting changed the game, get to know them and see if there is a connection. If so, hang out more. It is that simple.
I still cherish many of my relationships with friends who have decided to raise children. There is a lifetime of experiences that can never be replaced. But, it is OK for all of us to recognize that we are at different places in our lives. We didn’t quit these friends cold turkey, but the nature of the relationships changed.
So, if you’re feeling isolated by being a single woman without kids, or part of a childfree couple, it might be time to get out in your community and meet some others who are on the same path.