For NotMoms who are childfree for reasons beyond their control, watching the news can be a challenge from day to day. These are women who have shed more tears than they can count over their NotMom status, grieving the end of long-held dreams of motherhood and all that might have entailed.
A single day’s headlines can blow your mind and break your heart. Simply look for “child abuse mother” under the News function of Google’s search engine. Let’s look at headlines for just one day this week: Tuesday, August 23rd:
- Jessica Beagley, 36, is the Alaskan mom who forced her 7-year-old son to swallow hot sauce as punishment. On her self-produced videotape submitted to Dr. Phil, she followed up by making the boy stand in an ice-cold shower. She was convicted of misdemeanor child abuse and awaits sentencing.
- In Orange, CA, witnesses say they saw Sonia Hermosillo, 31 toss her 7-month-old son from the 4th floor of a hospital parking structure. The baby is in critical condition; she’s being held without bail and will undergo psychological testing.
- Rubi Cabrera, 19, lives in Arlington Heights, IL near Chicago. That’s where she was turned in by her pediatrician and charged with aggravated battery of a child. During a standard 2-month exam, the doc determined that Ms. Cabrera’s infant had been repeatedly shaken by the legs. As in, holding the baby upside down by his chubby little ankles and shaking the living daylights out of him.
- In Denver, a 6-year-old girl who’s the size of a 2-year-old told investigators her adoptive parents made her eat meals in the bathroom. Regina Marquez, 35, the girl’s aunt and adopted mother, and her girlfriend, Deanna Martinez, 36, are each charged with a felony count of child abuse resulting in serious bodily injury.
- Mary Harkins, 46, faces felony child abuse charges in Wichita, KS after causing her 3-year-old son to suffer a critical head injury after a beating.
I kept thinking I’d run out of vomit-inducing headlines from a single day in America’s newsrooms, but I had to quit, leaving at least 6 more pages of Google results unseen.
For any woman who wanted a baby to no avail, including post-menopausal NotMoms and those whose bodies simply refused to carry a child to term, these headlines make absolutely no sense. They can cause a frustrated woman to question God’s compassion and common sense, screaming to the heavens to understand why psycho bitches can have a child and they never will.
Similarly, NotMoms who’ve always known they lack a maternal gene are equally bewildered. These ladies knew from an early age that they’d make terrible mothers; they wonder why the child-abusing mamas didn’t get a clue about their own limits.
My BFF, a fantastic mother, once told me that ambivalence is a terrible way to greet the birth of a child. Because the big truth of motherhood is that once the baby is here, there’s no turning back. Not for 18 years…or more. If only Sonia Hermosillo had known that.
I hope every NotMom joins me in praying for the horribly damaged children and women in these stories. Let’s also pray for the ones we don’t know about yet: they’ll be the top story tomorrow.