For NotMoms who are child-free for reasons beyond their control, watching the news can be a challenge from day to day. These are women who have shed more tears than they can count over their NotMom status, grieving the end of long-held dreams of motherhood and all that might have entailed.
In some ways, mental illness must surely be at play in every incident. The South Carolina woman, 32 and pregnant, who drove her three children into the surf at Daytona Beach (3/4/14) is just one example. A single day’s headlines can blow your mind and break your heart. For this post, I searched for “child abuse mother” under the News function of Google…then wished I hadn’t.
- Phoenix, 3/2/14: “Phoenix mother charged with child abuse after leaving 2-year-old alone in backyard”
Police say that the mother told them she was drinking and blacked out. She said she does not know how her child ended up spending the night outside in a fenced yard alone.
- Brooklyn NY, 3/2/14: “Mom Nearly Kills 2-year-old After Beating Him with Bamboo Stick”
A woman, 27, whipped her 2-year-old son with a bamboo rod during a “savage” head-to-toe whipping, then refused to get him medical help for two days. Her son was in critical condition when his mother was arraigned.
- San Diego, 3/5/14: “Mother of 10 Convicted of Abusing 8-Year-Old Daughter”
The case of the 35-year-old woman who whacked her 8-year-old daughter in the head with a broomstick, choked her with a belt and burned her fingers on a stove because she wasn’t doing her chores.
I kept thinking I’d run out of vomit-inducing headlines from a single week in America’s newsrooms, but I had to quit, leaving thousands of Google results unseen.
For any woman who wanted a baby to no avail, including post-menopausal NotMoms and those whose bodies simply refused to carry a child to term, these headlines make absolutely no sense. They can cause a frustrated woman to question God’s compassion and common sense, screaming to the heavens to understand why psycho bitches can have a child and they never will. It adds weight to the common challenge of ‘discovering one’s Life purpose’ .
Similarly, childfree women who’ve always known they lack a maternal gene are equally bewildered. These ladies knew from an early age that motherhood wasn’t their thing. Naturally, they wonder why child-abusing mamas didn’t buy a clue about their own limits.
I hope every NotMom joins me in praying for the horribly damaged children and women in these stories. Let’s also pray for the ones we don’t know about yet: they’ll be the top story tomorrow.
*Post updated from 2011