As a blogger, by definition I regularly share my personal opinions on all manner of things, from the exalted arrival of Blue Ivy Carter (above) to overstepping aunts who keep asking when you’re going to get pregnant. The NotMom.com loudly embraces any woman who believes/feels/knows that she doesn’t have children. Period. Childlessness doesn’t define her, but it is a difficult lifestage to ignore.
Imagine a dictionary definition. Well, imagine Dictionary.com. For each word, there’s usually a primary definition presented, with additional results listed by frequency of usage. For The NotMom, women who have never given birth occupy the primary spotlight and they generate most of the stats referenced.
Some of those women thought for sure they’d have their own Brady Bunch, but it didn’t come to pass because of disease, miscarriage, bad timing, or their first husband already had kids, Some have reasons I can’t even envision for why it just. didn’t. happen.
That said, The NotMom.com is a mighty big tent. “Celebrating women who are childless by choice or by chance”, the masthead says. Perhaps I should add, “With no questions asked.” If a woman tells me she’s a NotMom, I’m not asking her why she feels that way. Not my place.
Many women call themselves “childfree” these days because they never, ever wanted a child. No problem. They’re NotMoms, too. Some women say they’re NotMoms although they have stepkids, or adopted kids, but still ache because they never delivered their “own”.
And then there are the women whose only child died in Afghanistan. Or in surgery. Or on the streets of Gary, Indiana.
Most certainly, I’m attracting readers who’ve used birth control. Logic insists some readers may even have had an abortion. To support these women in today’s contentious political climate, even outside the U.S., requires testicular fortitude even if God didn’t give you testicles. It is, as they say, what it is.