If you’ve decided this is your year to meet Mr. Right, you just joined a huge sorority. The most popular dating sites report that January 2013 will bring a 30% user increase at OKCupid, 40% growth for HowAboutWe, and on one day – January 2nd – Match.com reports their business grew by 55%.
Online and off, dating is an evolving term. The prevalence of guys who simply text “‘Sup?” to a woman they’re supposedly interested in, or email an invite to join him and his friends somewhere led The New York Times to question if we’re seeing the end of courtship altogether.
“Traditional courtship — picking up the telephone and asking someone on a date — required courage, strategic planning and a considerable investment of ego (by telephone, rejection stings). Not so with texting, e-mail, [and] Twitter.”
These days, actual voice-to-voice calls from a man you like can be infrequent, if they happen at all. Does he like you, too? Maybe. Or maybe not. Women have always encountered men who say they’ll call but don’t, and now we have a term for it, and tips to get a clue what’s happening early on. Hopefully.
There’s more than one factor contributing to the super-loose dating culture, including Facebook and other sources of online “research”, a collegiate ‘hook-up’ mentality that continues way beyond graduation, and, of course, high-income women that apparently scare some men to death. HBO does a good job revealing how the world has changed for young singles: Girls is not Sex & the City, Not at all.
Add in a desire to be childfree, or a child-free lifestyle, and a frustrating scenario can become downright complicated.
But, even as the Times‘ lengthy analysis lists many of the how’s and why’s that may have changed dating forever, writer Alex Williams ends his piece with an important reminder: “Some women keep the old dating traditions alive by refusing to accept anything less.”
Cheryl Yeoh, 29, a tech entrepreneur in San Francisco, shared that she usually refuses any date not set up a week in advance. Result? Men treat her to red roses, fancy dinners and tickets to major performances. “If he really wants you,” she said, “he has to put in some effort.”
Ms. Yeoh knows her worth, and she offers it without compromise. How about you?