“My 34th birthday is nearing and I’ starting to accept that there is a very good chance that I won’t have kids. I can’t say that I “accept” it, but it is what it is…I just don’t understand “why”. How do you accept it and make peace with it??”
—Open forum post, StepTalk.org
This post, as they say, has a compelling lead. The first sentence caught my attention and it held until I read the entire post (highly recommended.) For me, the first reaction was “been there done that.” But, during my stretch of ovulation charts and tears, the web was still mired in chat rooms and bulletin boards. The more intimate connections made possible by social media were generally hook-ups of another sort.
I’m really happy to see a growing number of ‘safe havens’ where By Chance NotMoms can get a hug. Lord knows we need ‘em.
Notice that StepTalk.org is an online community forum for stepparents. The woman who wrote that post is clearly in a great deal of pain. She has a stepson, but she has never given birth. There are some who might say stepparents shouldn’t fall under the NotMom label.
I say, I’m not labeling anyone; you label yourself. A woman with a noisy household as stepmom to a gaggle like the Gosselin kids, for example, might still feel like a NotMom inside. She might even keep it secret between herself and her diary. But with reflected stories on the Internet, she knows she’s not alone. And that’s one of the things the Web does best.