Women without children are by definition a “niche” community, and now, writer Amanda McCracken bravely reminds us of a group that’s even niche-ier: adult virgins.
Ms. McCracken, 35, recently shared a stunning amount of her personal story with The New York Times, including the facts that she enjoys “being naked with boyfriends” and has “happily [and competently] taken on a dominatrix role.”
Rather than give in or give up, she’s found a new way to lean in.” She writes, ” I still want to save sex for someone who is mutually in love with me and who accepts my virginity as a gift. After so many years of holding out, I can’t change now.”
Just how many grown-up virgins are out there, anyway? Averages provided by the Kinsey Institute show men generally losing virginity at age 16.9 with females averaging slightly older, at age 17.4. The Guttmacher Institute reports that only 3% of Americans, about 10,000,000 women and men, wait until marriage to have sex.
In this example, though, Ms. McCracken didn’t mention a goal of marriage, only love. It might be argued that love is harder to find.
As for young adults “committed” to promise rings and pledges of pre-marital abstinence, a 2005 study found that male and female pledgers are 6 times more likely to have oral sex than non-pledgers. That would mean that Ms. McCracken’s experiences in the nude, and her admitted familiarity with orgasms, are not uncommon. A little bit of “fun” that leaves clinical virginity intact.
Just as the childless and childfree are taking to the web to find each other, apparently, adult virgins are more open to telling all through blogging and outlets like the Times. Ms. McCracken alludes to the teasing of friends; I wonder about any intrusiveness of family. It takes a bit of nerve to tsk-tsk a daughter who’s only doing what her parents advised, doesn’t it?
Here’s wishing good hunting to all the adult virgins, and comaderie and understanding wherever they can find it. From one niche to another.