Childfree Guilt: There Won’t Be Any Grandkids

grandkid decal

A woman in her 20s knows she never wants children and after a little thought, her “amazing” boyfriend is fine with that. So, what’s the problem? Grandkid Guilt.  That’s how she signed a letter to advice columnist Dear Prudence summing up her dilemma:

“I can’t help feeling guilty that I am taking away the chance for his wonderful parents to be wonderful grandparents. The feeling is so strong that sometimes I think I should just let my boyfriend go while we’re still young so he can find someone who can stomach the thought of kids. What should I do and how do I stop this tidal wave of guilt?”

Prudence recommended that the couple needs an earnest conversation. The young woman should ask him to think long and hard about what it would truly mean to him, and even his parents, if he lets his chance to be a father pass him by. After receiving “many heartbroken letters” from women and men whose partners changed their mind about parenthood, she gives the best advice possible: “With a decision as profound as this one, it’s important that both people feel it was arrived at after the deepest thought.”

By-choice NotMoms who are their parents’ only child may have presented their own parents with no-grandkids reality, but future in-laws are another challenge entirely. The weight of the news shouldn’t fall only on the person with the uterus.

What advice might you give to a woman with Grandkid Guilt?

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3 Responses to “Childfree Guilt: There Won’t Be Any Grandkids”

  1. [...] Childfree Guilt: There Won’t Be Any Grandkids – There are some childfree men and women who feel guilty for not “giving” their parents grandchildren.  In fact, their own parents may have a lot to do with it by constantly hinting at the desire to be a grandparent.  I dealt with this type of prodding myself and I talk about it at greater length in my book.  Anyway, this  blog post is about a childfree woman feeling that very guilt and asks for help in an advice column. Did you ever feel this type of guilt?  How did you deal with it? [...]

  2. Rebecca Medina says:

    I’m having difficulty finding other not moms in not dads in the Cleveland, Ohio area. Do you know of any groups?

    • Karen Malone Wright says:

      I only know of the No Kidding! chapter that meets about every month at a restaurant or public place. The founder is Rachel Durci. Let us know how it goes!

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