I believe there’s always drama at weddings and funerals, but a recent brawl at a party center outside Boston adds baby showers to the list. Men in the crowd of 200 started several back-to-back fights, complete with flying beer bottles and smashed chairs.
“It was just nonstop. There would be a skirmish in this corner, we’d go over to address it, and then another one would start up somewhere else,” said Stoughton Police Sgt. Daniel McGowan. It took more than 20 officers 45 minutes to control the scene, including the evacuation of several children.
Hard to count all the manifestations of bizarreness in this story, yet it didn’t really shock me. Heck, BRAVO’s Real Housewives of Atlanta introduced big-party, punch-you-out baby showers last year, and the Housewives of New Jersey (below) brought violence to a christening. Have you been to a violent baby shower? How about a bizarre one?
I haven’t been to a baby shower in a while, but I’ve been to at least a dozen over the years, all without incident. (Unless, of course, you consider making a woman who passed the Bar exam wear a paper plate hat with ribbons on it.) Those showers were without men, too. Coincidence?
For a woman who tried to have children, wanted children, baby showers can be agonizing. That drama begins with the arrival of an invitation: happy for a friend, happy to be at the event, and happier still when it’s over. For some, Streep-quality acting is needed to smile and laugh and avoid staring at the Mom-to-Be’s belly as much as possible.
Several by-choice NotMoms have told me they dread baby showers, too, obviously for very different reasons. Shower guests, especially the Mom-to-Be’s female family members, may take that opportunity to remind a childfree woman that she’ll “regret her choice.” Surely the adorableness of itty-bitty baby clothes will do the trick, no?
Chances are, knowing your situation, the Mom-to-Be may have thought long and hard about what your reaction to the event might be. PlantthePerfectBabyShower.com advises Moms:
“By not inviting [your NotMom friend], it may seem that you are trying to tippy-toe around her and having fun without her. It is best to be on the safe side and invite her. Then the decision is hers to decide if she would like to come or if it would be too hard for her.
Whether you attend or not, and whether you have a good time or not, there’s one positive thing you can and should do. Warmly thank your pregnant friend for inviting, and including you as she celebrates this major life change. That’s far from bizarre.