It’s a scenario familiar to many NotMoms, when the feeling of being a square peg facing a board of round holes is super strong.
However, calling attention to the exclusionary nature of the “Mom” descriptor can be viewed as petty. Even divisive. How to be authentic about your feelings when the subject is land-mine sensitive?
In the ’70’s, push-back against ubiquitous male pronouns started discussions that ultimately banished feminized terms like “comedienne” and “stewardess.” Women sharing their minority perspectives and truths were then fodder for late-night TV hosts, but, looking back, we cheer their determination to be heard. From then to now, the squeaky wheel is not always as brave as it sounds.
Ponder this: On her daily walk, Leia passes a posted flyer for an upcoming event. Apparently, a group called Madison Wives! is having a cookout for the married ladies of your neighborhood. You’re single, so you ignore it (with or without lightly bruised feelings).
Weeks later, Leia explains her absence to a questioning neighbor who responds, “Oh, you should have come! You didn’t have to be married to enjoy that party! You eat food, don’t you? We want to get to know you, too!”
Was it was a mistake for Leia to feel excluded from the event? Should she feel sincerely welcomed by the group, if not invited, after the follow-up? And, what about those bruised feelings? Do the others even know their actions had a negative impact? Why is political correctness unpopular when it’s often the respectful thing to do?