Childless and childfree women come in lots of shapes and sizes. We are all colors, all cultures, and all ages. As much as we have in common, we are also very different. Some people say it is strange to define ourselves by things that we are not, so let’s determine what we are instead.
In this series, childfree blogger Laura LaVoie interviews women bloggers without children who answer the question, “If you’re not a mom, then what are you?”
Emily Timbol is a writer and blogger (Emily Timbol’s Blog) whose work has appeared in Huffington Post, Red Letter Christians, and other publications. She has also appeared on radio and podcasts talking about life, faith, and anything else she can think of. She is working on publishing her first book, Leaving the Religious Lifestyle. On top of all of this, Emily is a NotMom.
How does your faith affect your life as a childfree woman?
My faith plays a big part of my life. I’m someone who wants my faith to shine through in who I am and what I do. Not in a preachy, “Let me tell you about Jesus” way, more of a, “Let me show you that not all Christians are what they seem to be in the news” kind of way.
I’m an LGBT advocate, and a lot of my writing is dedicated to trying to change the church’s treatment and perception of LGBT people, especially LGBT Christians. Really diving into the Bible and theology, and learning about how God views sexuality, marriage, procreation and all that, is a big part of what makes me confident that it’s not a sin to be childfree. I’m not disobeying God’s commandment to “be fruitful and multiply,” because that wasn’t a commandment at all. It was a blessing given to both man and the birds of the air and fish of the sea. Children are a blessing for many Christian couples, but not all and I think that He blesses childfree women in different ways. I feel blessed in the ways He’s brought me closer to him through my work in the LGBT community.
Also, as far as for the idea of being responsible for the religious upbringing of another person or persons, that is really kind of weird to me. I would never want to force anyone to believe anything, my potential kids included. I believe strongly that your religious beliefs should be your choice, but how you reconcile that with being an authority figure and wanting your kid to go to church with you and follow the same morals you have, that’s tricky. I’m good with being responsible for my faith, but the faith of another person, that is another thing about having kids I’m not sure I could handle.