Childless and childfree women come in lots of shapes and sizes. We are all colors, all cultures, and all ages. As much as we have in common, we are also very different. Some people say it is strange to define ourselves by things that we are not, and so, with the ‘Mom” label out of the way, we share the many other components that make us who we are.
In this series, TheNotMom writer and childfree blogger Laura LaVoie interviews women without children with public voices who answer the question, “If you’re not a Mom, then what are you?”
Dani Alpert is a comedian and blogger living in New York City who shares personal stories on her site called The Girlfriend Mom. We are excited that Dani will be speaking at The NotMom Summit in October. She has identified an entirely new category of women that many NotMoms can relate to, those who can answer the question,
In the dating world, what happens if you fall in love with someone who already has children?
Tell us about yourself, your blog, and your career.
I’m a writer, and a Pilates instructor. I was living in LA and working in the entertainment business, but after 16 years I had had enough. I spent time traveling and when I landed back in NYC, that’s when I became a Pilates instructor.
I started The Girlfriend Mom blog in 2011. I had been dating a divorced father of two, and I didn’t know what I had gotten myself into. The blog was an outlet. It was a place to rant and rave about this lifestyle choice.
I like that you differentiate yourself with the title “girlfriend mom” because “step-mom” would be too real. What makes it different for you?
I was having fun with it. I didn’t know what to call myself. I wasn’t married, so “step-mom” didn’t resonate. Especially the “Mom” part. I never wanted to be a Mom. When I described my role, I literally was a Girlfriend Mom.
The lines can be blurred when you’re not married. It’s more difficult to describe yourself; to yourself and to others. For me, “Girlfriend Mom” doesn’t have the gravitas that “step-mom” carries, and it suited me.